E.L. James: Fifty Shades of Grey

Tional tumult because Christian can t give her what she needs love sniff And we re treated to her alternately being angry about the pain and humiliation she faced at Christian s hands and chastising herself for being a failure and for being mean to Christian It really is classic abuse mentality Yet I see her being touted by some as strong and independent It s this kind of ignorant trash that sets feminism back decades Women who defend this book are however unwittingly participating in some of the most blatant misogyny I ve ever witnessed giving the impression that some women enjoy being debased abused and controlled outside of a consensual Domsub relationship This is not a book about BDSM this is a book about one sick abusive man and his obsession with a oung naive invertebrate It s a book about a girl who has absolutely no sense of self who sacrifices any pretense of individuality in order to hold onto a man who doesn t even show her the faintest glimmer of respect It s about two attention starved individuals with the emotional maturity of toilet paper convincing themselves that their relationship is like the best thing ever OMG It s trite insulting and dangerous I fear for any impressionable السودان المأزق التاريخي و آفاق المستقبل - المجلد الثاني young women who read this and think that this is how an ideal relationship should operate If nothing else it should be issued as a guidebook to mothers around the world to show their daughters the kind of man to avoid at all costs This book does good men and indeed all of humanity a disservice SighA bestseller They re thinking of turning it into a movieI can t Word Count Oh My 79Crap 101Jeez 82Holy shitfuckcraphellcowmoses 172Whoa 13Gasp 34Gasps 11Sharp Intake of Breath 4Murmur 68Murmurs 139Whisper 96Whispers 103Mutter 28Mutters 23Fifty 16Lip 71Inner goddess 58Subconscious 82Click here for my review of Fifty Shades Darker Fifty Shades 2 You know I was beginning to wonder if I needed to change some of my two star books to one star I was thinking that I might not ever personally read a book worthy of one star and I was messing up my scale by giving some of the lame books I ve read lately two stars instead of oneThankou EL James for proving to me there was something worth waiting for Something that truly exemplifies the meaning of terribleNow hold up all The Rarest Rose you would be defenders I read this whole thing I did not skip anything I did not skim I read every word I bought this book with the intention of giving it the benefit of the doubt You see I love erotica and I m not ashamed to say that I both read asou see on my 2012 books I ve already read two others and write it myself So I was thinking to myself oh maybe there s a possibility that even though this is a twi fiction rewrite and even though everyone makes fun of it it could still be a fun little guilty pleasure read that I can laugh along withNONONONOThis book is NOT eroticsexy funny even ironically endearing full of sexual taboosThis book IS repetitive plotless well Trylon and Perisphere you knew that painful to get through depicting manipulative controlling and self destructive as desirable how to not write a novel how to gain success by using other people s characters barely changing them and then laughing all the way to the bankMost people know about the twilight matchups so I m not going to go into too much detail but it was actually uite sickening how lazy she was to change ANY story detailsBella Anastasia a clumsy girl who grew up in Arizona Las Vegas with her mother then moved to Forks Vancouver Washington where her dad stepdad lives while her mother lives with her new husband in Florida Georgia She has aounger friend named Jacob Jose with a crush on her and whose dad is friends with her dad because they are fishing partners and police force army buddies and who gave her his old truck VW beetleEdward Christian who is adopted and has a sibling named Emmett Elliott and a sister named Alice Mia also adopted who live with their parents Carlisle Carrick really CARRICK We couldn t even change the first three letters and Esme Grace Their father mother is a doctor Rose Kate and Jasper Ethan are also siblings in this story but have been changed to be friends of Anastasia since in Twilight they already have a convenient different last name than the other CullensAlso he dazzles herI can t even function over the fact that upon preparing this book for publishing she couldn t change one fucking thing to make it even remotely different That was too hard TOO DAMN HARD The similarities in character are so untouched that I am sincerely appalled that she thought it different enough to publish as is It s uite disgustingAlright continuing on and once again I m sure Weihnachten im Herzen you ve heard this already this book is terribly written Most notably the lack of ability to describe anything other than the few choice phrases she knows how to type He ran his hands through his hair I bit my lip He told me not to bite my lip Oh jeez He grabbed me by the chin to make me look up at him Holy crap I peeked up at him Lather rinse repeat Over And over And over For 500 pages Then there s the case of multiple personality disorder where she hears the voices of two distinct other pieces of herself in her head The subconscious the one telling her she s not good enough and the inner goddess the one that s all into the sex It s strange because I m also currently reading a book right now Deadline where the main character hears a voice in his head because he is literally insane and it s written almost the exact same way he talks back to his voice who presents herself in italics just as Anastasia talks back to her two italics voices It s funny because she s supposed to be completely normal andet shares the same schizophrenic tendencies as a book about someone who is completely insane This is sense Check out this awesome short paragraph from chapter 24 Through the haze of light I suint and see Christian leaning over me smiling Amused Amused at me Dressed In black What are these fragments four in a row What is this punctuation GASP AT HIM BEING CLOTHED Is this supposed to be poetryLet me add some line breaks for poetic interestThrough the haze of light I suint and see Christian leaning over me Smiling Amused Amused at me Dressed In blackThat s almost betterLet s have another shall we from chapter 24 once I didn t put that song on my iPod he says casually and puts his foot down so that I am thrown back into my seat as the car accelerates along the freeway What He knows what he s doing the bastard Who did And I have to listen to Britney going on and on WhowhoThe song ends and the iPod shuffles to Damien Rice being morunful Who Who I stare out the window my stomach churning WhoSAY WHO AGAIN BITCH JUST TRY IT I DARE YOUOkay and now maybe even worse than the writing oh hell nothing s worse than the writing nevermind is the lack of plot Now once again ou already know this Do I even need to tell ou nothing happens Seeing as it s based off of a book where nothing happens ou can be guaranteed that as we go one step removed even less happens Here is the part where I apologize to Twilight where I said in my page by page commentary below that 50 Shades was entertaining I was at the very beginning I was oung and na ve I didn t realize I m sorry You know how The Office kind of got bad after Jim and Pam got together because there was really nothing Imzadi Forever (Star Trek) you were waiting for after that This happens by likechapter 2 You re likeokaywhat now we jut have to watch them whine as a couple for the next zillion pages Okay I can t even fathom that there are two other books written about this couple I literally want to open the window and invite birds to eat my eyes out as punishment for buying and reading this bookAnd now for a bit of tiddlybits I m going to share some information on storywriting thatou guys might find interesting and will help show exactly why 50 Shades has zero plot I went to school for film and we had story development classes One thing we were beaten over the head with about is something called the 7 Sentence Story This will help for any writers that are writing their books to be cinematic or would like their novel to be considered for film purposes this is by no means a rule but a really helpful guideline First Corrupção Nas Galáxias you need a problem a conflict A reason to tell a story Onceou have that our plot should be able to be described in seven sentences thuslyExposition we are introduced to the protagonist andor main charactersInciting Incident something happens that kicks off the conflict the whole point of the storyPlot Point 1 because of the inciting incident character sets off to do somethingcorrect the problem etcMidpoint here in film ou might see a montage but it s a place where either plot point 1 is resolved or there is a transition in the characters way of thinkingPlot Point 2 often an even bigger issue arises or a twist that changes or accelerates the conflictClimax final showdown or decisions needed to be madeResolution everything comes to an end the conflict is settled in one way or anotherBasically if Tanya and the Border Guard you can tellour story in this way in seven sentences Beelzebub, Vol. 18 (Beelzebub, you ll know that A the main point is clear B thatour story doesn t wander too much in different directions and C that The Flash, Vol. 2 you actually have a plot to stand on thatou can justify there s enough substance there And since that s a lot of vagueness we ll go with a classic captivedominant story to show how one tells a story in seven sentences Disney s Beauty and the Beast First the main conflictConflict The prince has been turned into a beast and has only a limited time left before he is trapped forever as oneAnd the seven sentence story Exposition Belle is a smart girl who rejects the advances of Gaston as she doesn t want to be stuck in a mundane lifeInciting Incident Belle s father gets lost and captured by the Beast in his castlePlot Point 1 Belle trades her freedom for her father and is prisoner in the castleMidpoint Belle starts to experience feelings for the Beast and is complacentPlot Point 2 Belle s father is sick and the Beast decides to let her go even though he s giving up his chances of being with herClimax Gaston comes with an angry mob to destroy the BeastResolution While Beast lays dying his love for Belle turns him back into a human and he can live with her happily ever after Simple right Of course other things happen but no doubt Miriam: A Treasures of the Nile Novel you can communicate the main story with just these sentences Okay so let s try 50 Shades which hilariously has had its film rights bought already Conflict Anastasia must decide whether to be with a guy who she thinks is super hot but also scares her This fascinating decision I tellou whatExposition Anastasia is a literary student at WSUInciting Incident Anastasia meets Christian on page 7 and thinks he s hot and mysterious and also frustrating It is clear they both have chemistryPlot Point 1 which is sloppy and all over the place Christian chases her down brings her to his house and shows her he s into SM Also they have sexSorta Midpoint but kind of suished close to Plot Point 1 Anastasia must decide whether to pledge herself to him via contract if she wants to continue seeing him Plot Point 2 Nah she s still deciding and whining about how he s kind of scary but continues to have sex with him throughout this whole time There is no plot point 2Climax Well there isn t really one it s just kind of an all over the place endingeither the complicated sex scene at the end with the hymnal music or him hitting with her with the belt the next morning one of the two I guessResolution She says he s too weird and ends it What a complex thrilling and incredible plot full of depth SHOULD I HAVE CUT THAT FOR SPOILERS OOPS Did Do It for Daddy you even care Ifou ve gotten this far nopeBut guess what We know that there are two other books and they get together and lesson isn t really learned so AWESOME COOL I guess that s how she gets people to buy the next ones because hot diggedy I can t wait to see them get back together and whine some And let s talk about the sex for a moment Nothing forbidden actually happens that Mobile Device Security you ll be like ohhhh how scandalous I want to try that For the most part it s pretty much all basic stuff or basic toy play because basically he s taking it easier on her since she s inexperienced Except for the belt part at the end I guess which just doesn t sound funAndou already heard about the tampon so like that s not even a surprise although imo it s not a big deal anyway Out of all the women having sex on their periods regularly I can guarantee INFP you there are uite a few men that are tasked with taking the tampon out and throwing it aside I was actually upset about the fact that she is sleeping completely naked in a hotel room bed on day two of her period As if that isn t going to be a mess in the morningOkay lest I go on as long as the bookou get the point If எட்றா வண்டியெ you want to see my commentary while reading it is below However a few things I cannot stand how much the author being middle aged shows from the point of view of this 21ear old I m gonna buy plane ticketson the Internet ARE YOU NOW WHOAOOOAOAOA Don t get crazy on us I might be too overwhelmed by this turn of events I fired up my email BLAZING SPEEDS REUIRED They actually do the Heart of Obsidian (Psy-Changeling, you hang up noou hang up no Kappa you that gross couples tend to do And it was expectedly gross Someone on ONTD who liked this bookelled at me because I said that Christian is not a dominant they also said I wasn t experienced enough to understand lol okay like A Werewolf Kiss (The Alphas Mark you know who I am anon I still stand by that statement It s not what he s doing it s how he s doing it He is deeply troubled whiny and manipulative and while he does love control it s for the wrong reasons He was abused as a child and sexually abused as a 15ear old and vastly denies it and because of this he justifies his activities as personal preference when he is in fact a bit too fucked up to currently have a relationship He ends up making the na ve Anastasia batshit crazy because he continues to string her along trying to convince her they want the same things instead of getting himself some help He gives her the illusion that she has the choice to back out but then turns around and says ha ha I m joking but I know where to find Attaboy, Sam! you by the way She goes to visit her mother because she needs a break from him to think and what does he do Flies out there using his roundabout stalker way of finding information about where she s at like he always does to meet up have sex with her and take her out with him She s supposed to be visiting her mother and having time to thinket he can t stay away and makes this about HIM taking her away from time with her mom whom she hasn t seen in 6 months I can t at this selfish fucking bastard because he just can t stay awayIt makes me mad just thinking about someone that clingy Which is another thing that pisses me off almost everything about their whining and relationship conversations reminds me of everything I ve hated about past relationships I ve had How does ANYONE enjoy this book How does anyone think that this is sexy that this depicts something they wantI can t evenI cannotAlso I should never have imagined Chuck and Blair from Gossip Girl as the main characters Now everytime I see a commercial for Gossip Girl rage courses through my bodyI m bored Someone get me out of herePS Did Bealtaine; Tales of the Fae you know that James recently stated she s set the bar for writing pretty highCoolPlease doourself a favor and go buy a book of much higher uality plot and writing ohhhh likeModelland. T Sie kommt von ihm nicht los Christian führt Ana ein in eine dunkle gefährliche Welt der Liebe – in eine Welt vor der sie zurückschreckt und die sie doch mit unwiderstehlicher Kraft anzieh.

Free download Fifty Shades of Grey

Is book has become a frigging phenomenon As I write this over 70 million copies have been sold in the United States alone hardware stores have run out of natural fiber rope and there are even BDSM for Beginners classes cropping up in small town AmericaSo excuse me but I can t just read this and think of it like a fantasy not when it s become a reality for so many people and not when I was so enraged by what I found within itOkay everyone take a deep breath grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and settle in We re going to be here for a while First up is probably the most inflammatory of the statements I m going to make so we might as well rip the band aid offTHIS BOOK PERPETUATES THE RAPE CULTURE WE WERE ALL RAISED INThere I ve said it I m not taking it back and I m not apologizing If Widows (Dolly Rawlins, you re unfamiliar with this phrase allow me to elaborate Wikipedia defines rape culture as A term used within women s studies and feminism describing a culture in which rape and other sexual violence usually against women are common and in which prevalent attitudes norms practices and media condone normalize excuse or encourage sexualized violence Let s look at the first half of that definition As much as we may want to ignore the facts rape and sexual violence are common in America According to RAINN the nation s largest anti sexual violence organization someone in the US is sexually assaulted every 2 minutes On average that s about 207754 sexual assaults eachear 54% of sexual assaults are not reported 97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail and 23 of these assaults are committed by someone known to the victimI could go on for days about how prevalent attitudes practices and the media condone sexual violence but I won t because I m really going to try and keep my words and links relevant to FSoG Thankfully throughout my research I found severalhundredThe University of California has an interesting article about how social and cultural norms perpetuate rape and rape culture In it they specifically address how women are conditioned from early ages to be passive and accept and affect certain attitudes and behaviors Here are some of the social rules they list and elaborate on1 When spoken to a woman must acknowledge the other person with a gracious smile2 Women must answer uestions asked of them3 Women must not bother other people or make a scene because they are uncomfortable4 When in trouble it is best to defer to the protection and judgment of men5 Casual touching or suggestive comments in social settings are meant as a tribute to a woman s desirability6 It is the natural state of affairs for men to carry the financial burden of social situations7 When engaged in a social encounter it is not proper for a woman to superior in any game sport or discussion if she wants to be accepted8 Women should always accept and trust the kindness of strangers if they offer helpThere s a blog post by Harriet Jacobs that also speaks to this and I urge Badtimes Stories (Historias de los malos tiempos) - Bernie Wrightson (Historias de los malos tiempos) - Bernie Wrightson (Obras Completas, you to read it in its entirety In short it says women are raised being told by parents teachers media peers and all surrounding social strata that it is not okay to set solid and distinct boundaries and reinforce them immediately and dramatically when crossed mean bitch it is not okay to appear distraught or emotional crazy bitch it is not okay to make personal decisions that the adults or other peers inour life do not agree with and it is not okay to refuse to explain those decisions to others stuck up bitch it is not okay to refuse to agree with somebody over and over and over again angry bitch it is not okay to have or express conflicted fluid or experimental feelings about Ellas Exams Super Bundle (Six Steamy Medical Play Stories) yourselfour body Ancient (Thaumatology, your sexualityour desires and Psychopath Free (Expanded Edition): Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People your needs bitch got daddy issues it is not okay to useour physical strength if A Caregiver's Guide to Lewy Body Dementia you have it to set physical boundaries dyke bitch it is not okay to raiseour voice shrill bitch it is not okay to completely and utterly shut down somebody who obviously likes Besser Php Programmieren you mean dykefrigid bitch Now how do these two examples relate to FSoG Simply put Ana the main character in this series continuously exhibits the behaviors listed in the rules and seems to have the mentality of those listed in the bullets She might as well be the case study on which both were basedEarly in the book there s an interaction between her and aoung man named Paul the son of the couple she works for This is someone she says has always been a buddy Just after they greet each other with a hug he releases me but keeps a possessive arm draped over my shoulder I shuffle from foot to foot embarrassed It s good to see Paul but he s always been overly familiar Does she tell him that she s uncomfortable or step out from beneath his arm No that d be going against everything that rule number three has taught her Plus she wouldn t want to come across as a mean bitch now would she Just after this Paul asks her out Whenever he s home he asks me on a date and I always say no It s a ritual Is it a ritual Or is it something than that Has Ana like many of us been conditioned to follow the rules to such a degree that she doesn t know how to tell him It s not okay to keep asking me out Is she so terrified of breaking cultural norms and coming across as a mean crazy angry dyke shrill frigid bitch that she ll put up What in the hell just happened Did I really read that Oh my god I did I did read that Meet Anastasia Steele Ana is just a giant mess of a human being She s insecure to the point of it being laughable klutzy even though she only trips twice in the entire book and a complete ditz She s a virgin of course who s never taken any sexual interest in anyone before Right I m fairly certain there hasn t been a woman this naive since round about 1954 At one point she thinks putting her hair in pigtails will keep her safe from Christian s lusty advances Fuckin really She flushes constantly and on several occasions referred to her hoo hoo naughty place as down there Next we have Christian Grey Christian is a misogynistic self loathing abusive piece of shit Apparently his only redeeming ualities are in this order his ridiculous good looks his money and his giant penis The only time Ana seems to like him as a person is when he s being lovable and those times are few and far between Most of the time he s serious brooding and threatening How charmingI knew from the very first line this wasn t going to be good I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror It was cemented that early my deep deep dislike for this moronic simpering asshole Your hair won t behave Guess what My suspicions were confirmed a few pages later when Ana admits that any sympathy she feels for her sick friend is unwelcome Unwelcome apparently because her friend is beautiful even when she has the flu What a petty jealous cunt The only thing that made the first 4% of this book tolerable was the fact that I read it aloud to my Călătoria unui fiu risipitor. Eseu romanţat asupra neizbânzii younger brother and his freuent commentary was amusingly distracting Once he gave up however I had to travel the rest of the road alone What a painful journey it was My first impressions of Ana were bad deservedly so What were my first impressions of Christian Well That s how I felt about Christian Grey From the beginning Any time an author tries to sell me on a character s charm by waxing hormonal about how ridiculously good looking he is I snicker inwardly I can t think why HuhAnyway after reading about the description of Christian s building hello first penis metaphor I had to sit through the awful dialogue between these smarmy idiots and hope beyond hope that something anything would distract me enough to see me through to the end Turns out I found something about 15% through I went back and counted and kept track throughout the rest of the book and doou have any idea how many fucking times Ana said Oh my in this monumentally bad missive Do Things for the Surgeon you I ll tellou 79 79 motherfucking times He pulled me back against his chest oh my He began kissing a trail down my belly oh my He s an insufferable douchenozzle oh my I m just thankful that neither lions tigers nor bears were brought into this mess at any point About halfway through I wished I d been keeping track of the word crap because Ana is constantly sayingthinking it Crap Holy Crap Double and Triple Crap Oh Crap This Crap That Crap any and all Crap Speaking of crap if I ever ever ever have to hearread the words inner goddess again I m going to construct a pyre out of tampons and maxi pads light it and toss unsuspecting women into it My inner goddess will cap The Carpenters yours in the face ifou don t shut the fuck up I m sorry I just couldn t take any of this seriously His playroom His playroom Really Or how about his weird ass issues with food He wants the girl slim and in shape et he won t stop trying to force her to eat I simply love the attempt EL James made at giving these pathetic shells personalities Ana wears Converse drives a vintage car and likes classic British lit Yawn haven t heard any of that before And Christian we know Christian s super deep and sophisticated because he plays the piano and listens to obscure classical music This is how we know Edward Christian is really just a lost soul in need of love his love of music Everyone knows that no one threatening listens to music Music lovers just aren t capable of doing anything bad Surprise Psychos like music too Since this is considered nothing than mommy porn I will attempt to pander to that particular demographic for a moment Were the sex scenes well written Well none of it was particularly well written The sex scenes could be kind ofhonestly they were kind of boring I ve had exciting sex myself so I guess reader response to the sex scenes is dependent on reader experience There s nothing revolutionary here and a lot of it is just plain unrealistic I mean come on he pretty much jackhammers her hymen and she walks away with nothing than a passing pleasant soreness Riiiight How about the time he gives her a handjob with a soapy washcloth Hello Apparently neither one of them has ever heard of a urinary tract infection Oh or we could talk about her first time giving Christian a blowjob during which Ana established herself as some kind of ueen of Deepthroat Anyone wanna hear about the tampon scene Oh ou ve already heard about the tampon scene Yeah same here although hearing about it and reading the actual scene are a bit different For some reason Why Place Matters you imagine it being worse than it actually is while at the same time reading about it is horrifying thanou could possibly imagine He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string what Andgently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet Look I m not against sex during menses but a guy plucking out a girl s tampon Yeah gross I m not a prude but there are certain lines people just shouldn t cross What makes it worse is that Christian is just thrilled that Ana s raggin because he hates using condoms Apparently Mr GinormoDick doesn t know that a woman can get pregnant while on her period Which is hilarious considering all the teaching and training he s doing to remedy Ana s sexual ignorance Sexual dependence thy name is Anastasia Steele We re supposed to believe that this girl has gone 21 To Rabbittown years neither having had sex nor masturbating Hm Well Christian s supposed sexual prowess makes a bit sense now as does Ana s assertion that he has a giant bologna wand She has absolutely zero experience and she s never once had anything in there Thing could be the size of a baby carrot and she d still be like Oh my glob How is it ever going to fit It s good that she stockpiled all those potential orgasms though because now she s capable of having like 15 a day or something It s ridiculous Come to think of it Christian s obsession with her eating habits makes a bit sense now She was probably beginning to look like something out of a horror movie Seriously though are we going to take the word of a girl who is apparently so undersexed she s never even masturbated I guess I can sort of understand this obsession with some kind of an awakening butreally Oh he s soooo good in bed How the hell would she know She has absolutely nothing with which to compare not even her own damn hand Now I ll be totally honest the biggest issue I have with Fifty Shades of Shit is neither the sex nor the horrible writing It s the plot Thin as it is it s still there its core message being that given enough timeou can change someone While I don t have any problem with this if all Commentaries and Cases on the Law of Business Organization, 2009-2010 Statutory Supplement you re trying to do is help them to lose weight or uit smoking whenou re talking about an emotionally and dangerously close to physically abusive relationship sending that kind of message is ridiculous and irresponsible Christian is controlling possessive condescending and cruel He doesn t allow Ana to behave as she normally would and Ana just puts up with it insistent that if she can give him what he wants when he wants as often as he wants she can eventually begin to pull his strings Will it work In the books probably In real life No Almost never How many misguided women are going to waste their lives on some emotionally retarded prick because they ve read shit like this and think this kind of fucked up fairytale will come true for them I ve known women with this mentality Oh he s so dark and dangerous and threatening but he s got a sad lonely side and if I could just figure out what s wrong I could change him Wake the fuck up He may be hot he may have a huge dick he may even be rich that doesn t make him a good person It doesn t even make him a potentially good person uitBeingAFuckingIdiot Look I can make my words Staccato like Christian Now hold still while I choke Stygiophilia you untilou pass out Ana and Christian I said don t roll The Moth Diaries your eyes at meChristian stalks Ana which she turns into a fucking joke and whispers things to her threateningly She s constantly afraid he s going to beat the crap out of her and with good reason as he on than one occasion tells her he s going towants toPotential rape is downplayed Ana s friend Jake Jose starts pushing himself on her rather vehemently when they re both drunk Ana repeatedly says no but Jose just keeps trying to go in for the kill Admiral Chaps busts on up with his riding crop however and saves her Ana understandably avoids Jose for a while after that and when her other friend asks her why all Ana says is He made a pass at me Later on she and Jose are friends again the attempted kiss forgotten SighRapists appear to be a theme Christian tells Ana that he gets off on having complete and total control over another person This is not just in the bedroom but in Ana s overall life On several occasions he fails toield when Ana says no plunging on regardless assured she ll like whatever he does anyway so why bother stopping And there are women out there who think this is romantic I wish Misconduct (Birmingham Rebels, you the best of luck ladies Just keep in mind that whileou re fantasizing about abusive misogynistic assholes like Grey there are a lot of women dealing with the horrors of actually living with men like him For all Hollywood Education you ladies bustin outour toys while daydreaming about Hunky Mr Grey I want Steps Through the Mist you to do something for me It ll only take a moment Closeour eyes Think about all the things Christian Grey does in the book Not just those supposed sweet things but really everything His condescension his control his insane jealousy his threatsand nowimagine he looks like this Still turned on The end of the book was absolutely hilarious with Ana fleeing in emo. Einem Interview für ihre Uni Zeitung kennen Und möchte ihn eigentlich schnellstmöglich wieder vergessen denn die Begegnung mit ihm hat sie zutiefst verwirrt So sehr sie sich aber darum bemüh.

Those of The Missing Brides (Missing, you who have had the privilege of reading Fifty Shades of Grey will appreciate the context in which this review was written For those ofou who have not read the book well Jan, Jans en de kinderen 11 you ll have to buy a copy to understand the inside joke CONTRACTDated this day 28th day of October 2011 BETWEENPA LUPTON reader and fan Fifty Shades of Grey by E L JamesAndALL FANS OF EROTIC CONTEMPORARY ROMANCEEXPECTATIONSReaders can expect to find within the pages of this book a flawless r I didn t want to start this book Many people are praising it but I m simply not into erotica it s too cheap for me But here I am in the mind of the innocent waiting to be devoured by the big bad wolf Sounds pornographic doesn t it That s because it is Christian Grey A hot dude that melts a woman s panties off with just one look The perfect sex toy set out to conuer an innocent girl Grey the sick fck is considered one of the hottest characters out there but he doesn t get to me His dominance is too much for me to handle and his attitude tends to be annoying and slimy Plus he s just wrong in the head so there s no need to add about this creep Anastasia is an immature insecure desperate idiot who wants to become the whore of Babylon She just wants to listen to her inner goddess wtf and have creepy monkey sex with Grey She has no personality nor will whatsoever she gets excited over the smallest and most idiotic thingsou can imagine and even though she sees how wrong Grey the sick fck is she still goes for it She s always mooning over Grey like he s some kind of god that she s supposed to worship He tells her that he doesn t want a serious relationship just sex and she s still ok with it Why Just because he s hot He s a damn disgusting pervert He hurt her the first time they made love she was a virgin for Christ s sake and I don t buy the crap with it being perfect surely she had vaginal cracks after that and is treating her like a slave Even though he s a successful businessman and he s rich and famous he still can be a psychopath Just watch American Psycho and Dudo of St Quentin you ll know what I m talking aboutNow to pick on one of my biggest problems regarding this book THE CONTRACT WTF may I ask Signing paperwork in order to have sex with him Is he a natural hazard or what I get the whole Hey look at me I m badass I have my own company and helicopter gig cause the guy is stinking rich but the contract Isn t anyone getting angry with this I guess not Why would I do that To please me Wtf All women want to please him Why Cause he s hot He s a perverted asshle that s what he is He s acting like he owns everyone Aren tou guys angry I have rules and I want Drittes Reich und Zweiter Weltkrieg you to comply with them They are forour benefit and for my pleasure If Locas you follow these rules to my satisfaction I shall rewardou If Smoking Lovely you don t I shall punishou and Second Sight you will learn Learn this kicks him in the groin Creep It s about gainingour trust and Forbidden Mate (Holland Brothers, your respect soou ll let me exert my will over Often Go Awry you Heh right eye twitches exert my will eye twitches againAren tou guys angry with this Under Grand Hotel, Volume 02 yet uestion for all the people who gave this book great scores If Grey wasn t so hot wouldou still have given it such great ratings I doubt DIRTY - 47 verruchte TABU Erotik Geschichten you would So this means that the reason whyou love the book is mainly Christian Grey being hot and an uber alpha Shallow much Or maybe Im Squirrely! (The Nut Family, you re into all the Christian Grey induced monkey sex and torture Psycho much But who am I to judgeThis book is just a desperate woman s sick fantasy to be treated like a sex slave I m sorry but it doesn t work for me I DNF d this because I find it disgusting and degrading PS I have to mention this because some people are too smart to get it MY REVIEW IS STRICTLY RELATED TO FIFTY SHADES OF GREY AND NOT BDSM IN GENERAL So take a chill pill and GTFO 0 stars DNF 55% Review edited February 12 2015 Sex is than an act of pleasure it s the ability to be able to feel so close to a person so connected so comfortable that it s almost breathtaking to the pointou feel ou can t take it And at this moment ou re a part of them Author unknown I ve had a rather long list of issues when I decided to abandon ship FSoShit is garbage and if I had read a paperback I would have burned the fucking offending thing It s a total mystery to me why this book ever saw the light of day because let s face it the writing is incredibly juvenile The story and characters are extremely poorly written and I couldn t for the life of me connect with the dumb clumsy na ve and immature heroine Also the slimy whacko didn t deserve to be called hero Christian is a highly manipulative abusive and stalker ish asshole His whispers didn t endear him to me either He came off as a total creep I honestly don t understand what Ana saw in him et on the other hand I didn t get it why Christian would stalk that bland and vapid wallflower In any event these two deserved each other and Ana obviously enjoyed Grey s blunt and crude approachThe whole contract business was pretty much mind boggling I don t believe that a healthy and consensual Domsub relationship could be based upon such crappy and ridiculous rulesChristian the rich Superman sarcasm deflowered our wallflower in a way that s not even worthy of losing any words over that pathetic fuck So ou did guess right I neither found the sex to be hot nor erotic AtAll Thus I d better buy him a ticket to the next Mars expedition stat That would ensure that Mr Grey would not return to our cozy place called Mother EarthFSoG lacked depth and emotion big time Except of disgust and anger I felt nothing towards these pathetic main protagonists and their fucked up trip bored me to tearsThe winking smileys irritated the hell outta me and all that inner goddess shit made me almost blow a fuse JesusFuckingChrist Would ou give me a break already I ve read a variety of erotica books and I do enjoy great smexin that comes with some kind of depth and great characterization However I m not sorry to say that FSoG is ranking among the worst erotica books I ve ever readWhat s seriously bugging me as well is the fact that the general public thinks that FSoShit provides almost every woman s erotic fantasy I don t criticize readers who loved this book but I m criticizing the media coverage I don t appreciate it when these people claim to know that s what a general majority of women love to read and want in real life or in the bedroom for that matter Seriously Never Ever FSoG is bad erotica It s bad BDSM too When people say FSoG is empowering women in their sexuality then I think something is seriously wrong Never ever could this story empower me in my sexuality What in God s name is on their minds I can do it all by myself with my very healthy hand and I can gladly say that my boyfriend is empowering me just fine and is taking care of my needs Thank ou very much BTW my boyfriend is not an abusive and manipulative stalker Oh The Celestial Selenite Scry (The Moon God Trilogy, yes now it dawns on memy boyfriend is realBottom line the barely there plot and the characters were overly shallow underdeveloped immature and boring The amateurish writing killed any desire to read anything else by this author in the future And last but not least my inner goddess was so fucking relieved when she had to uit eventually It was a very tedious and crappy experience and I wish I had never bought this book let alone attempted to go through this rubbish I was in dire need of bleaching my brainChristopher Hitchens said Everybody does have a book in them but in most cases that s where it should stay As a side note Head s up If any ofou fuckers comment at the bottom of this review and say You don t understand BDSM I will hunt ou down and make ou eat Americas sewing book your computer plus the mouse plus the keyboard plus any other internet connected devices inour home including but not limited to iPhones iPods iPads Androids games consoles and ereaders This book is not an accurate or healthy portrayal of a real BDSM relationship between two consensual and enthusiastic parties Thus by defending it as such Secret Santa (Bluegrass Brothers, you are doing a disservice to the actual culture of BDSM no kinkshaming So don t fuck with me and try to pull that shitOh also there will be a substantial amount of cussing throughout this review Ifou care about the sanctity of The Workshop your virgin eyes then shut downour computer and go do something else We are all grown ass adults and this is the internet If The Legacy of Aaron Geist you re going to come over and here and lecture me about swearing then I d advise thatou PIPE the fuck down and stop being so bloody delicate Alrighty then You guessed it guys it s story timeWhen I was thirteen I decided I wanted to be an author For Prisoner of Night (Black Dagger Brotherhood, years I d chattered away about being an architect or a vet or what haveou but who was I kidding All I ever wanted to do was write So I sat down and I did I did writeI m actually not shitting Insectissimo! you I thought it would be as easy as sitting down and writing some crap on Wordpad alright calm down this was the noughties and I wrote a lot of crap I tried to write a play and then I tried poetry and then I wrote short stories before eventually expanding into novels Novels is a stretch I wrote about a hundred single spaced pages and to my present day horror made my family read it And they actually did Remember all those embarrassingly awful school projectsou did when Fields of Fire (Frontlines, you were thirteen Or even just those embarrassingly awful thingsou did in general when Redeemed (The MacKays you were thirteen I feel the same level of shame when I think of my little preteen self handing this pile of shit over to my sister and thinking I actually had somethingAbout aear later with zero knowledge of how publishing works I posted it straight into a b Garbage Absolutely horrifying utter trash A waste of trees bookshelf space and precious oh so very fucking precious braincells Honestly why is this even published Every single book store in Sydney is promoting this tripe claiming it to be some kind of awesome romance novel Are ou absolutely shitting me There is nothing romantic at all about this book And I don t mean the BDSM erotica themes I mean the fifty levels of abuse in this friggin thing In fact that s what this book should be called Fifty shades of absolute fucking i In the words of Miss Steele You need to sort our shit out Grey Good day sir Fifty Shades of Grey like Fifty shades of fucked up nonsense rolls eyes I should get a medal for just finishing this tripe I honestly do NOT feel like revisiting this book and writing a review I d rather spend the time searching for ways to remove this utter nonsense from my memory However this book is so bad that I feel the need to warn others from this drivel Luckily I did not buy this garbage I do not even know what overcame me to read it and I can only blame a momentary lack of judgment on my partWhat baffles me is the scary fangirlgasm following this book So what s causing it a hit I can only come up with twilight Doing some research this book was originally posted online as a twilight fanfic Yes a twilight fanfic The fact that this book s source material isn t a good piece of literature just shows what The Wedding (Lux, you should expect from this book And dubbing it a twilight fanfic and promoting it as such is no doubt raising the bar on the sale figures What has the world come to headdesk Whatever s causing its success I can safely say it can t be the book itselfEverythingou could possibly imagine is wrong with this book The execution and the characters And the writing And the plot wait was there one Firstly it has been said a countless number of times how abusive Bella and Edward s relationship was And it is arguably the most anti feminist portrayal of any relationship FSoG simply continues this unhealthy view and promotes an even abusive and degrading relationship towards women targeting older women and possibly even teenage girls who know no better Oh dear god I hope teenage girls do not jump on this disturbing bandwagon Surely it is degrading to ask a woman to sign a contract where she is now the property of the Dominant to be dealt with as the Dominant pleases and submitting herself to any sexual activity demanded by the Dominantwithout hesitation or argument especially when American Blues you take into consideration the fact that she would be signing up to something she has notet experienced and knows little about as she is still a virgin This is not something that should be promoted as desirable or idealistic This book cheapens what feminists have fought for ears Don t get me wrong I wouldn t deprive women of their right to express themselves sexually nor to act upon their desires but I shudder at the thought of women aspiring to a relationship where she will take part in various things that she is not comfortable with and at times even when she s genuinely in fear of taking part simply because she finds the guy hot The plot I m not even sure if there was one 50% of the book is spent talking about sexthe contract and the other 50% is made up of clumsily written sex scenes view spoilerFSoG starts of with Anastasia Steele agreeing to interview the billionaire Christian Grey Miss Steele is instantly captivated by Mr Grey s dashing looks and within 2 days she falls in love with him Mr Grey for some unfathomable reason can t keep away from her and reveals to her his secret kinky lifestyle The two spend the rest of the romantic evening calmly discussing the contract that allows him to fuck her senseless She reveals to him that she s a virgin and his only response he needs to handle that situation Really The next 4 days he gets to do exactly what he wants he stalks her abuses her and punishes her by spanking her several times uotes that spring to mind Please don t hit medon t be angry with medon t want ou to spank me Aww isn t that romantic Atleast she finally sees some sense and walks out hide spoiler Introducing an even abusive and disturbing TWILIGHT Now with whips and chains Fifty Shades of Shit Haters please exit stage leftI m not sure what possessed me to pick up Fifty Shades of Grey I thought I might genuinely like it before I started but all I was left with was one hell of a mindfuck Whatever it was that brought on this knee jerk purchase seems to have mercifully left me with enough common sense to say I will not be continuing on with this seriesRecently I discovered one of my favorite publishers Random House has picked up Fifty Shades of Grey and made this statementAn orig i nal work and said to us that James had war ranted the books were indeed orig i nal Mes sitte added she was aware of the nar ra tive that 50 SHADES started as dif fer ently titled piece of fic tion but that they were and are two dis tinctly sep Trigger Warning This review contains strong themes to include rapeBefore I begin what will likely become a very long rantpublic service announcement let me first say a few words I have nothing against EL James Nothing She s said that this series is a fantasy she managed to put on paper and that she never expected it to gain such momentum Good for her for perusing her dream of writing If this book also fulfills one of Mary Engelbreit (Leisure Arts your fantasies or ifou just plain enjoyed it good for Die Journalistin you too This review is in no way meant to belittle or condemnou for liking these books and nor is it an attack on the author These are solely MY OPINIONS about how dangerous FSoG is to society and specifically to women Needless to say this book does not fulfill one of my fantasies It s pretty much my biggest nightmare But it s just fiction No You can t use that argument with me Not any This book is not just fiction Th. Sie ist 21 Literaturstudentin und in der Liebe nicht allzu erfahren Doch dann lernt Ana Steele den reichen und ebenso unverschämt selbstbewussten wie attraktiven Unternehmer Christian Grey bei.

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